Becoming your Spouses Best Friend
- Melissa Perdue, Joab Perdue
- Jul 30, 2009
- Category: Sunday School, rss, Relationships, Marriage
In marriage it is essential that we develop a strong friendship with our mate. It is possible to love your mate without being close friends, but if that is the case it is time to deveolp that friendship. Malachi 2:14 in the NASB says "...she is your companion..." Friendship provides a foundation for excellent communication because friends understand each other's frame of reference ( where they are coming from past on childhood, experiences, past, ect). Learn to laugh together and have fun together!
Let's talk about six practical characteristics of friendship which you should develop in your marriage .
1. View your mate as a friend. Many times women view the man as providers and lovers, which they are, but forget to view them as friends. Men on the other hand often view the wife as their housekeeper, lover, and person who raises the children and forget about the friend aspect. If this is the case in your marriage change it and begin to view your mate as a friend. When Joab and I got married we thought it was so cool to get to spend the rest of your life with your best friend. It is like a sleep over for life.
2. Give your mate more of yourself than you give other people. God is your first priority in life and then 2nd on the list is your Spouse. God views this covenant as very important. Be sure not to get comfortable with each other and forget to work at quality time together. Take a walk daily together, watch the sunset, ride bikes, or anyting else that is enjoyable to you, but spend time alone together.
3. Friendships are developed as we express feelings, hopes, dreams, problems, and concerns. HONESTLY communicate with your spouse.
4. Friends tolerate differences. Many people expect their spouse to be just like them. True friendship embraces differences and does not try to change them. God made us all unique for a purpose. Embrace your spouse's differences. Many times the things we try to change about each other are some of the things that caused us to fall in love with that person. Respect each other's differences. When Joab and I first got married Joab would explain to me why I squeezed the tooth paste wrong and I would explain why he squeezed it wrong. He perfectly folded the tube from the bottom up, so that he could get evey ounce out neatly. I just grab the tube and squeeze it , however I pick it up. We eventually realized we are both different in that way and that there is not need to change each other. Now, we just each have our own toothpaste! Problem solved, we are both right.
5. Friendships occurs when you view your spouse as equal. If you view yourself as equals and are willing to accept positive and negative responses as you communicate you will build friendship.
6. Forgiveness is a MUST in any frienship. Many times in marriage we hold grudges and never forgive, yet with our childhood friends we forgive quickly!
Take action today to develop a frienship with your spouse. You initiate the change. Look for common intrest and be attentive to the other person's needs. Have fun as you journey to become great friends with your spouse!